No, that headline is not a quote from someone defending ragging. That is a quote about a college girl’s experience with a male friend. The girl, Honey, considered Raj a brother. And then, one day, Raj proposed. This caused Honey great distress, in what seems to be a humble attempt at writing college fiction.
A year later, Honey remembers this and tears still roll down her eyes. But apparently her friends have tried to teach her how “not to be a softie”.
It isn’t a co-incidence that women’s ragging seeks to ‘prepare’ them for a “man’s world”. In this story by Voz interior (aka Manju), ragging at the beginning of the year is used to set the tone of college life, a bit like describing the forest scene before unfurling the plot.
The weeks went by and ragging was in full flow in the college. Though it was banned the seniors had their way of tormenting the juniors and keeping themselves out of trouble. The bus rides were worse; juniors were called to the back of the bus and made to do crazy things.
What these “crazy things” were is left to the reader’s imagination; the assumption is that we all know what happens by way of ragging. The space of the bus is thus established as a place of negotiation of power, a place where the statutory ban on ragging does not apply. Having established the mechanism of ragging as the channel through which relationships are initiated, we move to character development.
From what Honey and Renu learnt in these weeks, Raj was very famous for his ragging tactics, and by now he had become the person that Honey feared the most. Sensing the fear, Raj did rag Honey in the strangest of ways. He called her to the back of the bus and asked her to sing. She sang, but Raj did not seem satisfied. All he said was, “I’ll be back on Monday. You will sing for me then”.
So the same Raj who proposes to Honey at the end of the year, his story began with ragging. In the above excerpt, the male senior is an object of fear; but what exactly were the ragging “tactics” that made him famous are not known. These are again left to the imagination, perhaps because going into them would delay the narrative’s movement into the plot, but it also serves the purpose of creating a fear of the unknown. Raj is the alpha-male who ‘senses’ the fear, but that doesn’t make him sensitive. He actualises the fear, ragging Honey in the “strangest of ways”. This building-up of a foreboding of violent ragging, however, turns into a mere sing-a-song damp squib. This anti-climax of the only ragging episode narrated serves the purpose of showing how Honey was unnecessarily afraid of harmless ragging. Her fault, her weakness! Raj leaves her that day with the threat that it wasn’t over yet, but the narrator then jumps into making Raj Honey’s rakhi brother!
But before that another male character was briefly introduced, and once again portrayed as a virile man whom Honey hangs out with. With this detour we are well past ragging and into ‘college life’.
She admired him a lot and had taken him for an elder brother she never had. She even tied him a Rakhi on Rakshabandhan, a Rakhi that Raj said meant so much to him.
Post-ragging, the elder male who was to be ritually feared becomes the ultimate protector – a rakhi brother. The sexual tension throughout this relationship is palpable but unsaid; now, with the rakhi, it becomes complicated. While Raj is portrayed from Honey’s eyes, we don’t hear from him until he pops the question. He does so only on the last day of college.
The interaction between the sexes is first mediated through the ritual theatre of ragging, controlled by a implicit but vague threat. What song could Honey have possibly sung if not a Bollywood number about love and longing? Doing so is considered embarassing precisely because of the context of sexual repression that forces the relationship, post-ragging, to don a brother-sister avatar. By making Raj a a rakhi brother, Honey pre-empts the question of desire. This pre-condition becomes the context of the relationship.
Ragging is thus the ritual entry point into the male-female relationship, where the male is to be either a brother or a husband. In either case he must cause pain before the relationship can be negotiated. In the latter case Honey has the agency to reject the offer with tears. In the former, however, the sweet bitterness of ragging must lead to a relationship, even if it is as forced as the knot of a rakhi.
The moral of the story is that Honey must not remain a “softie”. She has to learn surviving a man’s world – be it ragging or (a)sexual betrayal.
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Update on 22 October: While the author of the post deleted the entire blog a day after the above analysis, the full text of the post could be retrieved from the RSS feed. I’m pasting it below as it becomes impossible to understand my analysis without reading the primary text.
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The longest journey of my life: Day 0 – Year 1
From a now-deleted blog called “The journey of the inner voice….” written by “Voz interior (aka Manju)”
Honey was a jovial, outgoing and happy-to-go-lucky person. A hard-core Bangalorian at heart, she was trying her best to fit into Coimbatore.
“Here I go!” she taught as she climbed the steps of the college bus. It was her first day. Renu was by her side. Renu was Honey’s friend from school. Honey and Renu had chosen their college together. The ride to college was uneventful, except for the seniors looking strangely at the new comers.
Entering the class, Renu and Honey chose to sit in the first bench. A very young and kind – faced woman entered the class, who they later learned was Mrs.Malathi, their class adviser. Honey took an immediate liking to her.
The first day rushed off with nothing much to do. By now the feeling that they were in college had sunk in and Honey got to know many of her class mates. As soon as the last siren sounded, Honey and Renu rushed to the bus, to avoid fighting for seats.
The seats soon filled up. Raj entered the bus.
Raj was a tall, thin and fairly good-looking final year fellow. He took a seat behind Honey and Renu and began chatting away with his friends. Every now and then pausing to see what the infants at the front were doing. When Raj’s stop came, he got down, stood by Honey’s window and smiled at her. Unsure of what to do Honey smiled back, while Renu snickered.
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The weeks went by and ragging was in full flow in the college. Though it was banned the seniors had their way of tormenting the juniors and keeping themselves out of trouble. The bus rides were worse; juniors were called to the back of the bus and made to do crazy things. From what Honey and Renu learnt in these weeks, Raj was very famous for his ragging tactics, and by now he had become the person that Honey feared the most.
Sensing the fear, Raj did rag Honey in the strangest of ways. He called her to the back of the bus and asked her to sing. She sang, but Raj did not seem satisfied. All he said was, “I’ll be back on Monday. You will sing for me then”.
It was on that Monday when Honey met Keshav. Keshav was a tall, dark, stunningly handsome guy who was in the same year as Honey. Honey became very good friends with Keshav. They spent all the time in the bus together chatting, cracking jokes and singing.
Honey also befriended Raj. She admired him a lot and had taken him for an elder brother she never had. She even tied him a Rakhi on Rakshabandhan, a Rakhi that Raj said meant so much to him.
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Almost half way through the year, Renu drifted away from Honey. They were put in different classes. Keshav and Honey became quite close friends. Raj was into his project but always made sure he had time for Honey.
End of the first year was near and it was time for Raj to leave college. On the eve of graduation, he took Honey out. Honey was sad that he had to leave, but she was happy because he was starting a whole life.
Everything went on perfectly that day, when out of the blue Raj said, “Will you never be mine?”
“What do you mean?” Honey asked.
Raj did the unthinkable, he proposed to Honey.
That blew the whole day. Honey was in tears, and ran away from Raj, never to com back. Sensing what he had done, Raj moved away and never came back.
It was all over the college, in a matter of days. Renu along with Kiki had spread the rumors around in an extremely twisted way. Keshav believed them too. He confronted Honey. When she denied the rumors and tried to explain what had really happened, he had left. Honey’s tears did not bring Keshav back….
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“OI! Why are you crying?” Diya asked.
“What?… Oh! Nothing. I was just thinking of something.” mumbled Honey. Diya had broken her stream of thoughts. Wiping her eyes, Honey realized that it was almost break time. The lecturer had left.
“You okay?” asked Diya, looking very concerned.
“Yeah! Let’s go”, said Honey and she got up and walked out of the class. Diya followed her. Walking down the corridor, Diya looked at Honey. She was oddly silent all of a sudden.“That’s one year down. Renu, Keshav, Kiki and Raj sure taught her how not to be a softie. She’ll soon get my point.” thought Diya, as she hurried to catch up with Honey.
Filed under: narratives Tagged: | blogs, fiction, masculinity, narrratives, patriarchy, rakhi
